Looking back at all the mistakes I have done, I always feel like starting over. I always get the feeling of stopping my life and rewinding. But I cannot. Many sins were committed, there might be even some that I weren’t aware of. There could even be the mistakes that fall under “my normal” but isn’t considered normal by Islam. I was born a muslim yet I am ashamed to admit that I know nothing but the basics. Actually, new converts might know more about Islam more than I do and I feel like burying my head in the sand.
Allah has graciously offered us an eraser that expires after 30 days called Ramadan. Time in Ramadan is like golden grains of sands that are slipping right through our fingers. It is a time to cleanse the soul and unburden the heart and oh how do I need it ! My heart could be as filthy as stagnant pool. It is burdened by sins that I have committed. Those sins that captures the true essence of sleep that when you wake up, you feel like you been up the entire night drinking nonstop dark coffee. That’s actually how my nights been for the last months.
I need this Ramadan to silence the demons within me. To shackle and hold down the ghosts roaming sporadically in my soul draining every ounce of peace I had left. Perhaps you need it too. Everyone should seize the opportunity of living another day to witness the moon of Ramadan for death is a silent thief and you don’t know whether you would live to see another Ramadan. Do not waste these golden seconds for you might weep in regret later. Read more Quran, pray more often, fast regularly, drop your music and movies (Its hard I know but God is DEFINITELY worth it ! ), do more charity and give Zakah. Finally, I wish everyone happy Ramadan-ing !