On the roof top he stands, yet it feels like he is standing at the top of the world. Nothing matters to him anymore. Not the buzz of his busy street, not the barking of the stray dogs and certainly not the twinkly lights of the passing airplanes, for he is done caring about everything and nothing.
Life has got to him to the point of indifference. It was even funny that he paid no heed to the voices inside. As a matter of fact, he felt nothing. Not a single wave of fear, depression, confusion or pain rippled through him and strange enough, he felt free. Free from the nuisance of deciding which side to take, free from conversing with his inner voices and free from white static echoing though the chambers of his mind. “Numb but free” he mumbled.
It was strange to him being indifferent and paying no attention to the battles going on inside because it was simply not him. He would usually call himself “superman”, where he would maneuver every problem and analyze each mistake asking questions of the ‘whys’ and the ‘hows’ like a top class barrister. But he realized that asking questions merely drained him and most of the time it was useless. People he loved walked out, even though he kept on asking questions and tackling the solutions.
He sees a passing airplane and wonders whether he can wish upon it. He eyes little kids playing football on his street and he sighs, “Better enjoy now kids ‘cause life’s gift card of ‘happy living’ is valid till your childhood wears off” Smiling has deserted him long back but somehow he felt the urge to smile then the smile turned to hysterical laughing. His laughs filled the dark air and the passing wind rejoiced and decided to carry his laughter to spread it. If only she knew what he was laughing about.
His laughs died down and faded to the sky. He looks up to imagine the sky being a big black hole and he felt the urge to let go and get sucked. “Why care when all is gone? I just want to rest” Another plane passes over his head, its lights twinkling away. The leaves around him rustled as another wind blew giving him company. The voices didn’t stop. He just stood on the roof all night, gripping onto the concrete railing with the cement crumbling underneath his fingers.