Negative emotions have always been an inevitable part of our lives. As a matter of fact, we are liable to negative thoughts and feelings, almost daily. It could be anger, jealousy, frustration, irritation or fear and most of the time we stand helpless; unable to stop the flood of emotions drowning us inside, making us act irrationally and costing us much. I myself, have always been vulnerable when it came down to anger and I thought “It is about time this stops” Don’t you want it to stop?
The thing about emotions is that they come from thoughts and these emotions result in an action. A positive thought would lead to positive emotions and actions and the same would apply to negative ones. Thoughts are usually stirred up by our ego, a certain situation or a certain action or person. If someone, for example, humiliate me then my ego would be hurt and I would find myself doing reckless actions that I would come later to regret.
Controlling emotions starts by being aware of our state of mind; By realizing that you are getting mad for instance. The next step would be, disconnecting yourself from the emotion. That could be done by breathing deeply or sitting somewhere quiet or remembering something hilarious or making silly faces to yourself in the mirror so that you could be distracted. Once you are cool and calm, you can think of what happened and ask yourself these questions:
- Why was I feeling this way? Find the root of the problem.
- There MUST a positive angle to the situation, what is it?
- Why did the other party behave in that way which made me upset? I should put myself in her/his shoes.
- If I behave in a certain way, will it be worth it?
You could actually write it down because writing helps to reinforce the thoughts and make them clearer. When you are done, you will be ready to find a solution based on rational thinking. You will no longer find people around you saying “Why did you raise your voice?” or “Oh my god, I didn’t expect this behavior from you” You would finally be the master of your own emotions but it all needs determination and hard work.
Negative feelings are faced everyday by almost everyone of us; whether we are on the street, in a workplace, at home or in university. We meet different people with different personalities and face various situations daily and we must be prepared to face the gush of emotions within us and to keep it in check. Remember that if something is worth it, it will be worth it and keeping our relationships with the people we love, IS worth it.